I’m in a bad, icky, dark mood…
I’ve tried to increase our income twice so far this month, and both failed miserably.
It’s the last weekend of my husband’s remaining part time job. I think he thinks he won’t be able to handle another part time job with his “heavy” schooling. Not sure how far I can push the issue without causing a huge fight/lasting resentment since we can and are living on what I do bring home. There’s just not enough to save, pay for unexpected expenses, or pay for his schooling if we don’t get financial aid.
I shocked my husband when I proved to him that when he graduates, we’ll have $60,000 in student loans to cover only tuition, fees, and books. $12,000 from the past, plus $9,000 this year, and about $13,000 each the next three. I sure as hell hope he graduates early and is able to work part time through school. Funny thing is, we’ve talked about the number before and it’s just now clicking in his mind.
Then I realized, while proving the numbers to him, that since we got married 3.5 years ago, we paid down $21,000 in credit card debts (from moving cross country twice), bank of moms loans (wedding lending), and student loans. (Well and added two car loans, but I don’t really count those since I can sell both easily for more than I owe. Net-wise, they’re positive). Which, now that I think about it, wasn’t too bad for progress. But now we’ll have it back up to that insane number in no time.
Plus, that number makes me wonder if I shouldn’t have paid down debts and instead I should have saved for a down payment on a house. Which is a whole stupid thought cycle in itself. I wouldn’t have been able to pay house payment and all those minimum balances. But, gah, I want my own place!
And then my relationships with friends/family aren’t going too well. But that’s a whole book in itself.
So yeah, dark mood. Chocolate isn’t working. Catching up on sleep might. Hopefully I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling less moody.
Dark Mood
September 17th, 2011 at 12:52 am
September 17th, 2011 at 02:09 am 1316225363
It's not easy. Just a thought. I think you just have to find what motivates him. The way he sees it, he's working hard and there's food on the table, so what's wrong? Boys can be overly simple sometimes. Find a way to explain the problem to him in a way that pushes the "what's important to him" buttons. I probably didn't explain that well, but I find that works with my DH. I have to explain or approach things differently for him, because his brain works differently and he has an entirely different set of money motivators and hot buttons.
Don't beat yourself up about a house. It can wait.
September 17th, 2011 at 04:33 am 1316234015
Taking a page from thriftorama, there's probably an equation where you take your debt and show how huge a ball and chain that it is ... that he has to earn a beaucoup amount of bucks to pay it off along with all of the other costs of being a grown up.
Don't beat yourself up on the house. You wrote earlier that you didn't expect to live with parents for so many years. Its a long time and its making you feel like, at best, you are treading water. The house wish is a wish to move on somehow. A good night's sleep will be a lot cheaper.
September 17th, 2011 at 03:38 pm 1316273922
September 17th, 2011 at 06:58 pm 1316285914
Sending you good wishes---
September 20th, 2011 at 01:22 pm 1316524977
I have been thinking about how to approach my husband. I have time to think about it because he's stressed about his tests on Wednesday, so after that, we'll talk.
September 25th, 2011 at 10:30 pm 1316989858
Jerry